Repentance Pains? Call: '1-800-CLE-TZEDEK' (UPDATED Video)

Rosh Hashana over and 10-Days-of-Repentance pains got you down, Bunky? Well, Stephen Colbert, of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report," has the cure.

And he even gets the Hebrew right (not to mention the ringtone).

"Call: 1-800-CLE-TZEDEK. Operators are standing by."

But seriously, folks: Can you - for even a picosecond - imagine something like this aired for Ramadan in the West - let alone in the Muslim world? Don't believe me? Then try this burka on for size:

Some Columbus radio stations have rejected as insensitive an advertisement for a car dealership that invokes Islamic references.

The general manager of the dealership, though, says the promotions — which he called "tongue-in-cheek" — will air on some stations beginning next week.

In the spot, Keith Dennis of Dennis Mitsubishi talks about "launching a jihad on the automotive market."

Sales representatives "will be wearing burqas all weekend long," the ad says. One of the vehicles on sale "can comfortably seat up to 12 jihadists in the back."

"Our prices are lower than the evildoers’ every day. Just ask the pope! " the ad says. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies."

G'wan. Guess who's got their panties in a knot over the spot... (hint: it ain't the Hadassah ladies)

(Cross-posted at Israelity)

(HT: Life of Rubin)

A Little Good News Today (Audio)

Although I grew up in a small town in Florida and Houston, Texas listening to country music until it came out my ears, Canadian country singer Anne Murray never really interested me, until I heard this:

And then, reading through the lyrics, and listening to the song tonight though to myself, "that's a pretty good wish for a journo in this region for Rosh Hashana..."

Damn. 23 years later, and it's still accurate (except for Bryant Gumbel)...

A Little Good News
Anne Murray
Written by Charles Black, Rory Bourke, and Thomas Rocco

Peaked at # 74 on the Pop chart in 1983 while hitting #1 on the Country chart

I rolled out this morning
Kids had the mornin' news show on
Bryant Gumbel was talkin' 'bout the fighting in Lebanon
Some senator was squawkin' 'bout the bad economy
It's gonna get worse you see, we need a change in policy

There's a local paper rolled up in a rubber band
One more sad story's one more than I can stand
Just once how I'd like to see the headline say
"Not much to print today, can't find nothin' bad to say", because
Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

I'll come home this evenin'
I'll bet that the news will be the same
Somebody takes a hostage, somebody steals a plane
How I wanna hear the anchor man talk about a county fair
And how we cleaned up the air, how everybody learned to care
Whoa, tell me

Nobody was assassinated in the whole Third World today
And in the streets of Ireland, all the children had to do was play
And everybody loves everybody in the good old USA
We sure could use a little good news today

Nobody robbed a liquor store on the lower part of town
Nobody OD'ed, nobody burned a single buildin' down
FADE
Nobody fired a shot in anger, nobody had to die in vain
We sure could use a little good news today

Go buy a cd or two of her music for more great songs.

JerusalemOnline news update: 00:00, Sept. 25th (Video - Channel 2 TV)

Today's Headlines:

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• Palestinians to resume Unity Government discussions
• Abbas: Free Fatah leader Barghouti for Shalit
• Nasrallah rallies crowd in Beirut

Click on image for latest Israel
Channel Two TV news

Israeli female army unit foiling white slave trade

Sergeant Tzipora Schindler, 20, moved from Newton, MA to Israel two years ago. She volunteered for the only infantry battalion in the Israel Defense Forces that includes women. Schindler’s battalion helps patrol the southern region of Israel. (Alon Tuval for the Boston Globe)

ON THE ISRAELI-EGYPTIAN BORDER -- Sergeant Tzipora Schindler , a 2004 graduate of Newton South High School, is on the front lines of Israel's other border war, on the lookout for terrorists and smugglers along the country's southern frontier.

From her base camp atop Mount Uzia, she can see through binoculars where Israel, Egypt, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia intersect at the Gulf of Aqaba below, gleaming like an oasis in the desert landscape.

Schindler, 20, left her parents in Newton and moved to Israel two years ago, seeking spiritual rebirth after spending part of her childhood in Jerusalem. She quickly volunteered for the only infantry battalion in the Israel Defense Forces that includes women.

Read more.

(Cross-posted at Israelity)