The U.N., cow farts and how to tell them apart

James Lileks. My hero:

In another display of pitch-perfect priorities, the U.N. has released its findings on cow flatulence. There's quite a lot of it.

The 400-page study, $27 million of which probably went to Saddam Hussein for old times' sake, discovered that the planet's livestock, including 1.5 billion cattle, produce 18 percent of greenhouse gases. Apparently the beasts of the field do nothing but wander around all day asking their brethren to "pull my hoof."

Every time a cow feels a small sense of relief, a polar bear goes through the ice.

Read the rest. Just make sure you set down the hot coffee, or cover the keyboard and computer screen first.