'Dark Side of the Moon' (The Sequel)

And for all those who thought the report of Israelis buying up the Moon was something - well - a ways, ways, ways further out there:

...we have learned that there is life on Mars—but not the kind that had been anticipated.

The first indication, based on the current U.S. space mission, came when the small roving vehicle called Sojourner spotted a sign on the rocky terrain of the Red Planet that read, "Welcome to Chabad House—Bring Moshiach Now."

The sign, in English, thrilled and confused NASA scientists back in Houston, who had no idea what it meant. Only after thorough research did they learn that it revealed the presence of a dedicated and particularly hearty group of Lubavitch Chasidim, kinown for their tireless efforts to reach Jews in the most remote regions, urging them to perform mitzvot.

"We’ve been here for some time now doing our work," said a cheerful Rabbi Lou Steinwalker, captain of the spaceship, "Enterprise 770", in an exclusive phone interview. When asked how long he’d been on Mars and how he got there, he would only say, "Where there’s a will, there’s a way." He then excused himself, explaining that it was time fro prayer and he was looking for a minyan. In a subsequent phone call, the Rabbi noted that in recent days, another synagogue has been formed on Mars—A reform Congregation that he would not set foot in.