Madonna, hosts to descend upon Tzfat for New Year

No, not that one, silly...

Nope, not her either...

As the Hebrew saying goes,
"Can the Messiah be far behind?"

From Israel National News:

The singer, sometimes referred to as "The Material Girl" (after a song by the same name), will arrive in the city with her husband, English writer-director Guy Ritchie, and their three children, prior to the start of the holiday. They will be accompanied by several friends, including acting couple Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, as well as top designer Donna Karan. Also arriving with Madonna will be some 3,000 students of the Los Angeles-based Kabalah Center.

This is where they're going. Holy, mystical, sedate, tranquil, picturesque, poor, tiny Tzfat, nestled in the soft, wooded hills of the upper Galilee.

God help them...

UPDATE: Soccer Dad brings the hysterical (and geez', but do I live for good parody) with this take on Madonna's wistful look back on her coming observance:

In her younger days she rose to fame by wearing her underwear prominently on stage; nowadays she stays modestly covered in an ankle length slit skirt and low cut but long sleeved blouse. Rebbetzin Esther Ritchie used to be known as Madonna.

In the 80's she was an extremely popular singer breaking taboos right and left. Now she works, supporting her husband Rabbi Akiva Ritchie as he learns in a Kollel in Bnei Brak.

It might be difficult but as Rebbetzin Ritchie puts it, "Boruch Hashem with the royalties from the sale of my book 'Sex' and my somewhat scaled back touring schedule we're able to make ends meet."

Israeli Hip-hop: Mi Yom Leyom (Video)

Seriously great Israeli R&B-tinged hip-hop. Douse the lights, turn up the speakers and dig it:

Subliminal & The Shadow

H-T: Merehetoric

Clever viral Israeli coffee advert

A personal fave of Israeli commercialdom. Not new, but clever and well-produced:

The series -- there are three, and I'm trying to track down the third -- shows an iconic Israeli pilot at various international locales, apparently on layovers between flights, patiently trying to get the locals to just bring him a "small glass, hot wa-ter," to mix up a steaming, fragrant dose of "Elite" Turkish coffee.

It's a great take on cross-cultural mixups, and the need (speaking personally here) to get that "jolt 'o' java." Also, the ad taps into the Israeli (really, any nationality away from home) need to have a taste of home, while far away.

In the second episode, he's waking up in Shanghai.

In the third episode, he's dragged off to a dank, Soviet-era prison by Russian police, when they misunderstand his curt hand gesture and Israeli-accented statement, asking for sugar: "Put in," as insulting "Putin." If you find it, please send me the linky.

Israeli hacker trio cracks iPhone code, but - 'Will it Blend?'

From YnetNews:

Three Israeli computer engineers managed to hack Apple's iPhone system, making it available for use through Cellcom and Orange, Ynet learned Sunday.

The three were also able to lend the iPhone a Hebrew interface, thus breaking Apple's restriction on using the the phone only through the AT&T company in United States.

Stunning Israel Series: 'Acre: Dancing On The Edge' (original photograph)

'Acre: Dancing On The Edge'
(Photo: Dave Bender)

Stunning Israel Series: 'Jaffa: Setting Sail' (original photograph)

Jaffa: Setting Sail (Photo: Dave Bender)

Stunning Israel Series: 'Arise And Walk The Land' (original photograph)

Hikers atop Mt. Gilboa, overlooking the fertile Jordan Valley,
on a winter afternoon. (Photo: Dave Bender)

Blue Suede Jews: Elvis' 'shloshim' redux (exclusive video)

"The Elvis Inn" (Photo: Dave Bender)

(Wasn't planning on -- excuse the expression -- resurrecting this for Elvis's 30th bash, but, if the venerable Atlanta Journal-Constitution can do it, what the hey...)

Here's the original story I wrote for American Jewish Life:

"Memphis has Graceland. Vegas has impersonators. And Israel -- yes, Israel -- has the Elvis Inn, a bizarre desert Mecca for Middle East Elvis enthusiasts. It's the Holy Land, people, and the King has risen.

"Now, it's not as if I'm some kind of delusional Elvis freak here in the holy city, waving a hand-scrawled sign drawn in black magic markers, babbling on about Mideast war and peace in one breath and Elvis and aliens in the next, but, there I was: noon on Friday and traipsing through the market's bustling main open avenue doing my weekly round of pre-Sabbath shopping when I saw Elvis."

Read the rest.

And here's the video I produced for Infolive tv:

The Elvis Inn from Dave Bender and Vimeo.

"ahh got a hunk-a', hunk-a' burnin' s'hug, burning s'hug..." (ok - I'll shut up now...)

Israeli joins ranks of Ninja grandmasters

(...hey, and no dopey jokes about turtles, mutant or otherwise, or their creator, Israeli Haim Saban.)

From Channel 10 News via Infolive tv:

Professor Van Yuren, a Dan 10 Ninjitsu grand master, is in Israel to ordain the first ever Israeli ninjitsu grand master, David Haliva. Haliva must pass rigorous, life-risking tests and sign a blood oath in order to join the ranks of grand masters in this secretive and ancient martial art

Previously on this subject: Israeli Yemenite martial arts grandmaster goes viral.

Click the pic for the original report.

More unique Israeli martial arts are here.

'Stunning Israel' (photo series)

Click the pic for a larger version, with commentary.

Jerusalem At Night (original photo)

Been all kinds of busy with work and life, an' such the last few weeks, so blogging's suffered a hit. Anyway...

As Jews worldwide enter the month of Elul, preceding the Rosh Hashanah New Year, Yom Kippur, and Succot. From Aish.com:

Everything is different when the Jewish month of Elul arrives. It, too, is 30 days before the Big Day, which in this case is Rosh Hashana. It is not a time in which we strive to find some sort of balance between shopping and dropping. It is a time of love, yearning, reconciliation, forgiveness, and return.

I sure get the yearning and return thing:

Jerusalem At Night. Click the pic for a nice, hi-rez version.
(Photo: Dave Bender)

I shot this at about 03:00, soon before I came to the States. It's a view of the Malha Mall area of Jerusalem, from the heights of Gilo, cupping the city from the south. More photo-techie talk about getting the shot is here.

And yes, while I have posted it before, this image means a lot to me for many reasons that I won't go into here, although veteran readers of this blog will (hopefully) understand.

Check back soon for more.

D'OH! The Simpsons - Now in Hebrew

"Exxxxxxcelent, Smithers..."

"Lisa: [tired] Here you go, Bart. It's a longshot, but that's all I can do without learning ancient Hebrew.

Bart: [stares at her]
Lisa: Bart! I am not going to learn ancient Hebrew!
Bart: But you already know pig Latin, how much different can it be?"

A rerun from an earlier post on Bart and Co.:

In December 2003, Fox broadcast a new Simpsons episode with a mostly Jewish theme, titled "Today, I Am A Clown." Besides seeing Krusty's Bar Mitzvah (with Mr. T helping: "I pity the shul that won't let Krusty in now"), we learned that Springfield has a Jewish Walk of Fame, that Krusty's full name is Herschel Pinkus Yerucham Krustofski, and that Lisa has a Jewish imaginary friend ("Her name is Rachel Cohen. And she just got into Brandeis.").

More on the Jewish connection with the Simpsons and Springfield here.

Harry Potter: "Damn. They're on to us. Oy vey."

Harry: "Damn. They're on to us. Oy vey."

Not too sure which is the better satire: the original article, or this rippingly good riposte. And to think: we almost had the Darfur plot sewn up...

In another brilliant example of investigative journalism, the Iranian newspaper, Kayhan, affiliated with the nation's top religious authority, discovered this week that the Harry Potter series of children's books is really a Zionist plot. The article referred to Harry Potter as a “billion-dollar Zionist project", the purpose of which was to “disrupt young minds”.

This discovery represents yet another setback for our conspiratorial efforts. Despite suggestions that J.K. Rowling (the "J" obviously standing for "Jew") being advised to avoid such titles as "Harry Potter and the Matzah Ball Soup", or "Harry Potter and the Wholesale Discount", the Iranians have once again seen through the subtext of Harry's magical world.

Read it all.