Showing posts with label Ahmadinejad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ahmadinejad. Show all posts

Friday, September 23

This Just In: Israel Dismantles: World's Problems End


Arabs: Welcome to your new home. Jews: But where do we hang the mezuzas? (Photo: Pria Bender. All Rights Reserved)

Reposting the link to a classic satire (...at least I think it is), since it seems to be even more timely now than when it first came out.
"My cabinet and I had long discussions about world troubles, and we concluded that our critics are right - all the troubles can be traced back to us. So, in order to resolve "We are dismantling the Nation of Israel. I'm leaving for Poland next week."these issues, we felt it would be best to extend our withdrawal beyond Gaza to include the West Bank and Israel proper."
"We are dismantling the Nation of Israel. I'm leaving for Poland next week."
Read the rest: http://betbender.blogspot.com/2006/07/this-just-in-israel-dismantles-worlds_11.html

Wednesday, August 1

Harry Potter: "Damn. They're on to us. Oy vey."


Harry: "Damn. They're on to us. Oy vey."

Not too sure which is the better satire: the original article, or this rippingly good riposte. And to think: we almost had the Darfur plot sewn up...
In another brilliant example of investigative journalism, the Iranian newspaper, Kayhan, affiliated with the nation's top religious authority, discovered this week that the Harry Potter series of children's books is really a Zionist plot. The article referred to Harry Potter as a “billion-dollar Zionist project", the purpose of which was to “disrupt young minds”.

This discovery represents yet another setback for our conspiratorial efforts. Despite suggestions that J.K. Rowling (the "J" obviously standing for "Jew") being advised to avoid such titles as "Harry Potter and the Matzah Ball Soup", or "Harry Potter and the Wholesale Discount", the Iranians have once again seen through the subtext of Harry's magical world.
Read it all.
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Thursday, April 26

Iran threatens 'tens of thousands of missiles'


From The Washington Post:
Iran will strike U.S. interests around the world and Israel if attacked over its disputed nuclear program, a senior official was quoted on Thursday by the official IRNA news agency as saying.

"Nowhere would be safe for America with (Iran's) long-range missiles ... we can fire tens of thousands of missiles every day," said Mohammad Baqer Zolghadr, the deputy interior minister in security affairs.
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Monday, January 15

'New Historian' glum over national survival prospects vis a vis Iran


Text: "Mahmoud Ahmedinejad showing the West
what both
a peace sign and middle finger look like
when they're being
developed separately."

"Glum?!" Did I write "glum" up there? Shyeah - professional discretion my *** - make that a notch short of suicide...
Benny Morris is considered the most influential and prolific member of the New Historians, a controversial group of scholars who have challenged much of the received wisdom of the origins of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Warning: Benny has penned a serious downer of a read ahead. But read it anyway.
One bright morning, in five or ten years' time, perhaps during a regional crisis, perhaps out of the blue, a day or a year or five years after Iran's acquisition of the Bomb, the mullahs in Qom will convene in secret session, under a portrait of the steely-eyed Ayatollah Khomeini, and give President Ahmedinejad, by then in his second or third term, the go ahead. The orders will go out and the Shihab III and IV missiles will take off for Tel Aviv, Beersheba, Haifa, and Jerusalem, and probably some military sites, including Israel's half dozen air and (reported) nuclear missile bases. Some of the Shihabs will be nuclear-tipped, perhaps even with multiple warheads. Others will be dupes, packed merely with biological or chemical agents, or old newspapers, to draw off or confuse Israel's anti-missile batteries and Home Guard units.

With a country the size and shape of Israel (an elongated 8,000 square miles), probably four or five hits will suffice: No more Israel. A million or more Israelis, in the greater Tel Aviv, Haifa and Jerusalem areas, will die immediately. Millions will be seriously irradiated. Israel has about seven million inhabitants. No Iranian will see or touch an Israeli. It will be quite impersonal.
Hmm... Maybe this will cheer up ole, Benny...

Earlier posts about Israel and Iran here, here, here, here, here, and the linkdump is here.

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