Jewish Holidays: a primer from the hard Left

Painting spotted in a Columbus, GA coffee shop. (Photograph: Dave Bender)

The Daily Kos weblog (uber-Left, for those just returning from exile on Saturn) recently posted a wickedly clever "explanation" of the Jewish holidays for the "covenentally challenged," apparently.

An excerpt:

"Thursday evening, September 27 starts Sukkot, the Jewish festival commemorating our ancestors wandering around with Moses 40 years in the wilderness (or as the less theatrical among us refer to it, the desert). Sukkot also tries to serve the incongruent purpose of celebrating the harvest – which one has reason to believe probably only happens every 40 years in the desert. Or perhaps never. FEMA was said to have been heavily involved in that relocation effort.

(Photos - ed.)
Our people wandering in desert. Our people wandering in mall.

"During Sukkot, Jews are supposed to "dwell" for 7 days in crude temporary shelters called sukkahs, because, why create a whole completely new word? These "dwellings" are meant to represent the ones our people had to schlep around in the desert for 40 years after leaving Egypt. As you'll see later, 40 is apparently not a terribly lucky number for our people, not even on a scratch off lottery ticket. More also on the construction of these sukkahs later.

"Sukkot runs, or to be more precise, sits, outside in these huts, through Wednesday evening, October 3. Immediately on the heels of Sukkot, Thursday, Oct. 4, we’ve got Shemini Atzeret, or as it is known technically "The Day after the Last Day of Sukkot." A holiday unusual in the Jewish calendar, because it is celebrated far more for when it is than for what it is. Shemini Atzeret is sometimes mistakenly referred to as the eighth day of the festival of Sukkot, simply because loosely translated Shemini Atzeret means "the eighth day of the festival of Sukkot." Go figure. The Talmud explains that there are six ways in which Shemini Atzeret is different from Sukkot, which you can learn only by reading the Talmud – because apparently nobody else is talking."

Read the rest. And as for the politics? Take an anti-nausea pill first...

Simchat Torah: 'Gonna' tanz da' night away'

Simchat Torah: joyous "Hakafot Shnyiot" dancing at Jerusalem's Liberty Bell park. (Dave Bender)

A sweet meditation from Chabad:

"Once a year, Jews around the world gather in their synagogues and joyously celebrate, dance and sing. The holiday is a celebration of the Torah -- as is indicated by its name, Simchat Torah. The timing of this holiday is often questioned: why celebrate our connection to the Torah more than four months after the date when it was given: Shavuot? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to do the hakafot [dancing with Torah scrolls - ed.] on the day when we actually received the Torah?

"The answer given is that our celebration on Shavuot is somewhat muted because the First Tablets were eventually destroyed. Simchat Torah, however, is a celebration of the Second Tablets, which Moses brought down from Heaven when G‑d granted forgiveness for the sin of the Golden Calf on Yom Kippur.

"Simchat Torah is the culmination of the three-part Biblical holiday season. With each holiday, the joy steadily increases. After Passover and Shavuot we have Sukkot, a holiday dubbed "the Season of our Joy" -- and then we are treated to the unbridled joy of Simchat Torah which eclipses even the joy of Sukkot. And the reason for this great joy? We are celebrating our 'second chance.'"

Read the rest.